Dreams Don’t Come True – Part II

Let’s continue to close the gap between your present reality and your Dreams.

In my last post I wrote about 4 pretty cool ways to help you begin reeling in your future dreams. If you haven’t read that post I encourage you to check it out before reading this Blog.

Sweet! So you’re starting to rethink about your tribe now and who you’re hanging with. You’re starting to begin with your ends in mind. You’re also setting big, phat, audacious dreams. And finally, you’re only working on changing those things that are within your locus of control. Now you’re focused in the right direction. So here are some more things you can add to your arsenal to fully close that gap.

Dreams don’t come true because you haven’t beat your toughest competitor

Who do you believe is your toughest competitor in your life? Is it your family? Friends? Your environment? Education? Who do you believe has the greatest chance of preventing you from living and achieving all the things you desire in your life? Who will defeat you when a push becomes a shove? Any ideas yet…. ?

Your greatest competitor is… YOU! That’s right, the only person that can prevent you from achieving your dreams is yourself. Sure you can look around you and blame it on your boss, your colleagues, family or your friends. It’s not even the lack of money or resources that is responsible for your happiness. You can even pull a page out of my old book and blame it on your upbringing and lack of opportunities. Yes, I was stuck in my story for years. “I had a shitty upbringing”, “I was homeless when I was 14”, “I had no other choice”… the excuses were endless of why I couldn’t change and how that reality was my destiny.

This’s what I’ve learned about life. You can choose to be a Victim or you can choose to be Happy. With the former you perceive the world as this tough and hostile place, which includes yourself. When opportunities present themselves you instantly look for reasons why you can’t make it happen. You will never beat your toughest competitor with this focus and perspective.

Now if you choose to be Happy, everything changes. (That’s a pic of me being happy cruising through the wine country, pretty sweet ride). You no longer will look at your past as a reference point of where your future can go. Today is today and nothing else matters. Tomorrow is a blank canvas waiting for you to paint your own picture on it. From this point of view you’ll see all the challenges along the way as opportunities to tap into deeper and more powerful resources within you. This will strengthen your inner resolve when the winds of life pick up. These challenges will help you begin the process of beating your biggest competitor, yourself. You’ll begin to better feel and understand the essence of your strength and willingness to surrender to the task at hand.

The biggest limiting factor in your life is your self. Specifically, it’s your attitude and ability to deal with all the adversity that presents along the way. The great news is that you have the greatest control over your biggest limiting factor. Again, you can’t change the weather, other people or your past, but you can change your self. That change begins with an attitude of gratitude, regardless of what’s going on around you. It’s as simple as that.

The task at hand is to simply look for what’s great and amazing in your life, right now, today. By having this mindset and state of an attitude of gratitude, you’ll begin to strengthen this muscle. Practiced day in and day out over the days, weeks and months ahead this muscle will get stronger. Now you’ll start to slay your biggest competitor, that part of you that doesn’t think your worthy of your outrageous dreams.

Dreams don’t come true because of your focus.

Focus is an interesting word. Take a second to figure out what it means for you. Is it you looking down this long and dark tunnel with a shimmer of light at the end? Is it something you hold tightly in your mind until your end goal or dream is achieved? Or is it this mystical thing only for those in the realm of superhuman. If it falls in any of these categories it’s time for you to get “focus” off the pedestal and have a reality check.

I don’t believe anyone is strong enough to hold their focus on a dream or goal without letting it go every now and then. Nobody has the ability to maintain razor sharp focus for months and years on end. Why???? To make a long story short it has to do with a humans inability to maintain their CNS in alpha brain states. That’s all I’m going to say about that gear head stuff!

The universe moves in cycles. We have seasons; summer, fall, winter and spring. We have days and nights. We have warmth and cold. The list of cycles is endless. We are of this universe and also move in these cycles. So its natural that our states, energy and focus will come and go in cycles. At times focus will be laser sharp on your dreams and at other times you’ll find it ever so challenging.

What you need is long-term focus that’s modified from moment to moment to match the dynamics of your life. At times it will be great and at other times you’ll waver. No matter what, lighten up, keep your dreams in sight and take the right action to achieve them. Then when you’re feeling tired, bored or uninspired take a step back and let that focus go. If these dreams are coming from your core, the focus will return. Just keep trudging forward without feeling like you have to haveĀ Superman‘s focus.

Dreams don’t come true because you don’t have the right thoughts.

Your thoughts will make all the difference when it comes to closing the gap on those crazy dreams. Did you know that you have several hundred thousand thoughts in a single day? Think of the impact that your thoguhts have on your life.

I want you take a little inventory of all your thoughts. Watch them and look for how many thoughts are positive and how many are negative. Are they propelling you and moving you closer to your dreams or are they repelling you from your destiny? Do they make you feel extraordinary about what you’re doing or do they diminish and minimize you? You can even do a little exercise and put an elastic around your wrist. And every time you have a negative, minimizing or destructive thought change the elastic from one wrist to the other. At the end of the day you’ll have a serious reality check of how many times you’re focused on the wrong things. Try it and test it!

The key here is to change limiting thoughts into constructive and expansive ones. Here’s an example, imagine that you told yourself you were going to meditate and visualize on your dreams everyday for 30 minutes. You were truckin along day in and day out accomplishing this. Then one day you were feeling a little off and couldn’t get into the zone, so you only meditated for 5 minutes. Then throughout the day you kept thinking about how you let yourself down and you should have just toughed it out for the full 30 minutes.

In a very subtle yet powerful way you have just told yourself that 5 minutes wasn’t enough. You’re saying that in order to achieve your dreams you must meditate 30 minutes a day and all the benefits of that 5 minute meditation just got flushed down the toilet. And you’ve even given yourself an excuse for failure.

Instead, switch the elastic to the other wrist, laugh at yourself and say “5 minutes was perfect and awesome”, “so glad that I got that 5 minutes in despite how crappy I felt”, “5 minutes was exactly what I needed”. Can you actually feel the difference? You presuppose that that event is still leading you closer to your ultimate dream. It also signals your physiology to be in a place of gratitude because there was something amazing about those 5 minutes that will maximize your benefit.

I invite you to see what was amazing about everything you do. Shift that negativity to positivity and productive thoughts. A huge piece to help you close the gap between where you are and where you dream to be.

I’m going to recap the last two post’s right here…

  1. Set your big, phat dream goals and see them happening. Then work in reverse or backwards week by week seeing what it took to make them happen.
  2. Stop wasting your time focusing on and trying to change things you can’t control. Focus on the things you can control by changing what you need to do in order to make your dreams come true.
  3. Figure out the key limitation that is within your locus of control. Then work on changing things to overcome the problems and breaking through the challenges.
  4. Match your words and thoughts with your goals and dreams with the reality of what it takes to achieve them and make them happen. Do your best to keep the two in balance.
  5. Be in a place of constant discovery where you remain calm, purposeful and poised in the midst of any chaos around you. Take mental breaks. Drop into your heart and listen to your intuition. Calm your state of mind, remember to breathe and see what you need to do. Then reengage back into your life with gratitude.

So let me know how this read went for you and if your up for the challenge of truly fulfilling your dreams you’ve already taken one of the biggest steps. The blueprint’s here, you just need to execute.

If you liked this please “like” me and share it with whoever you feel would benefit from it. Until next time…

Keep rockin it,

Dr. Sukhi

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2 Comments on Dreams Don’t Come True – Part II

  1. Sukhi,
    We must be related. Our stories sound similar. You speak by keeping it real.
    My biggest change came when I focused on what I could do today to impact tomorrow and stopped focusing on what happened yesterday. Also, Istopped blaming and making excuses.
    I implore folks to read. Read books, read blogs (like this one!). You can be what you’re reading about.
    But…You have to want it.
    Thanks Sukhi for bringing it once again.
    Live it LOUD!

  2. Hey Thanks @ Rob! Maybe we’re long lost brothers… : ) Yes, excuses kill us and lead to procrastination.
    You’re super welcome bro!

    @TJ, You got it man!

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